{"product_id":"white-glossy-mug","title":"The Older I Get, the Heller the No - White Glossy Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis white glossy mug says what your face has been screaming since your thirties began: no. Not maybe, not let me check my calendar, just a clean, well-aged no. It's ceramic, dishwasher safe, and holds enough coffee to fuel the exact energy required to decline things faster with every passing year.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eGive it to someone who used to be a pushover and now has boundaries sharper than the print on this mug. Great for the office, worse for guilt-trippers, perfect for anyone whose patience shrank while their standards grew.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Seriously Cynical","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":54804468236627,"sku":"4493103_1320","price":14.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":54804468269395,"sku":"4493103_4830","price":16.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"20 oz","offer_id":54804468302163,"sku":"4493103_16586","price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0253\/4070\/6865\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-front-view-6a953866099a1.jpg?v=1788164226","url":"https:\/\/seriouslycynical.com\/products\/white-glossy-mug","provider":"Seriously Cynical","version":"1.0","type":"link"}